We are currently in a dispensation with an abundance of information, such that simply knowing so much will no longer suffice to stand you out. Instead, the way you communicate what you know is what determines whether people will listen to you or stay away from you. Yes, you must have noticed that those who communicate like a pro always seem to have the odds in their favor.
You know why?
Your knowledge really means nothing to others until it provides value for them. And you need to accurately pass that value on to people before they can access and use it. So, no doubt, you need to be able to communicate like a pro.
Proper communication can also strengthen your existing relationships and help you build new, valuable ones.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity because you couldn’t express yourself adequately, or you think your life, business, or career would be much better if you communicated well enough, read till the end. I’ll share practical steps to move from being terrible at properly articulating and communicating what you know to someone people always enjoy interacting with.
Be Clear
Whether you are sending a text or physically engaged in a conversation, always pass on what you have to say in a clear and concise manner. Be as simple and straight to the point as possible. Don’t forget to take quick pauses during your conversations to articulate what you want to say. You want your statement or answer to be coherent and easily understood by the other party. You also do not want to keep repeating what you said, as it can unnecessarily prolong the conversation or even confuse the other party. So, always state your opinion in clear, simple sentences. If possible, ask the other person questions to see how well they understood you.
While texting or sending an email, ensure that your sentences are coherent and error-free. Punctuate correctly, use complete sentences, and avoid unnecessary abbreviations. As a matter of fact, stay away from acronyms if you aren’t conversing with a close buddy. And before you send, always ask yourself if you would be happy to read what you’re about to send to the other person.
Be Courteous
Nobody loves to listen to a rude and indecorous person. So you’ve got to put in that extra effort to be polite. As you communicate with people, you must let them know that you respect them and that their opinions are valid. And hey, being courteous has nothing to do with the other person’s age, social status, or religious inclinations. You communicate courteously because you are kind, considerate, and well-mannered.
For a start, always acknowledge what the other person has said or sent before giving a reply or saying what you want to say. So, if someone sends something like, ‘Good morning, can I come get those things now?’ Your response should not be ‘yes’ or ‘no’. That would be uncouth. You want to respond to their greeting first or right after you give your response. So, ‘Good morning, yes, please’ or ‘Yes, good morning’ would be perfect. This shows that you believe they are important and worth your salutations.
Being courteous also includes starting your interactions with a warm greeting if you’re the first person to reach out. A quick ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ will do. Courtesy also translates to responding to messages and returning calls. As a matter of fact, it is disrespectful to ignore people’s messages and calls unless, of course, you’re dealing with a stalker.
Practicing the use of words like please, kindly, could you, and thank you also go a long way to make you a good communicator (someone people want to converse with). And hey, I totally understand that we are in a very digital age, but do you see those stickers and emojis you use to replace coherent responses? They aren’t courteous at all. Replace them with complete sentences.
Learn to Listen
How will the knowledge you have benefit another person when you do not even understand that person and their unique situation?
Unless you’re only out to ‘say your mind’ and not bother about the other person, active listening is a skill you must have if you plan to communicate like a pro. Active listening, not active hearing, because hearing is what we tend to do subconsciously – hear what the other person has to say so we can bring in ours.
Active listening, on the other hand, is a lot of work. It requires you to pay attention, not just to what the other person is saying, but also to what they are not saying. One technique I love (and use a lot) is to paint pictures of what the other person is trying to communicate. This way, you can immerse yourself in the conversation and catch tiny details you would easily miss if you weren’t as focused.
Another way to listen actively is to pay attention to what they’re not saying – their body language, tone, and involuntary responses to what you say. Also, maintain eye contact, and only interrupt the other person when necessary and you’ve politely asked to speak.
Address People by Their Names
This!
When you address people by their names (with the appropriate title), you make them feel important – especially if they are not close to you. And once people feel like they matter around you, rest assured that they’ll go the extra mile to comprehend, remember, and act on what you say to them.
No, this is not psychological manipulation. It’s simply bringing the best out of others by touching their sweet spots.😉
Be Human and Present
One marketing strategy most businesses use to sell to their customers is selling to people’s emotions. And in this era of AI and ChatGpt, your humanity – your ability to emote and empathize with other people’s feelings – is your advantage over the bots. So, to be human in your communications, don’t just focus on getting your point across. Pay attention to how what you say affects the other person or how you can improve how they feel with your words.
On the other hand, to be present is to use communication elements that are appropriate for your audience. If you regularly interact with diverse people, you will understand that you cannot communicate with everyone the same way. Instead, you want to use vocabulary, analogies, and humor that is appropriate for your audience. The kind of humor you use when communicating with someone you just met at a corporate event should not sound anything like what you use with your close buddies or family members.
Mean What You Say and Do It
Who likes to keep interacting with someone who never keeps to their word? Remember, the reason you want to learn to communicate well is to get others to understand you and want to interact with you again.
So, you want to ensure that you keep your word and fulfill all the promises you make as you communicate. Keeping your word tells the other person that you place value on them by remembering (and acting on) the things you said to them.
Add Some Grace to It
Irrespective of your gender and social status, you want to exude class and grace when you communicate. And by this, I’m not talking about accents or pretending to be who you are not. It is about cultivating that atmosphere of calm and maturity around you as you communicate with others.
To add grace to your communication, especially while speaking, remember to stay calm, choose your words carefully, and say each word one after the other. You’ll appear more confident and knowledgeable, especially when you’re speaking to a large number of people. Pacing your words also helps you reduce your mistakes and think through what you say.
Don’t worry; learning to communicate calmly when you’re used to rattling off when you speak can take some time. Simply slow down as soon as you remember to do so – even if you’re already in the middle of proving your point, or you have to slow down a hundred times.
There you go!
Don’t forget to give yourself time. The best communicators did not get there overnight!
