You’ve probably been hearing about boundaries ever since you were born. But have you ever wondered why boundaries are so important that everyone talks about them? Why do we set boundaries?
Let’s start with you.
How fulfilled do you feel when you find yourself stuck on smiling when you’re exhausted or unhappy or saying “yes” more often than you genuinely want to, just because you don’t want to seem selfish, mean, or difficult?
Or would you say you are in your best shape when you constantly downplay your personal needs to make others comfortable?
Or does continuously feeling drained, unseen, and resentful in your relationships bring out the best in you?
Well, if any of these feel familiar and heartbreaking, then you have a bit of a clue as to why boundaries are important.
This blog will walk you through why boundaries are important. You’ll see that it is not just a trending buzzword but an essential requirement for a healthy, fulfilling life.
What Are Boundaries?
Think about boundaries as that fence between your house and your neighbor’s house. It is high enough to:
- Ensure your neighbor doesn’t enter your home without your permission,
- Help you and your neighbor know which lawn to mow on those free weekends,
- Take responsibility for whatever happens within your own side of the fence.
But then, that fence is still low enough to:
- Allow you and your neighbor to see each other and exchange pleasantries (and essential information) as often as possible.
- Ensure your neighbor can hear you scream for help when you’re in danger,
- Ensure they can smell the smoke if your house or something in your yard ever catches fire.
In a nutshell, I’d say think about boundaries as you knowing where you start and stop, and where the other person starts and stops.
Note that in our analogy, a boundary is likened to a fence, not a dome. Setting boundaries does not mean isolating yourself completely from others. It means setting things in place for healthy interactions with other people.
Would you say having a fence between your house and a neighbor’s is selfish? Absolutely not.
So, setting boundaries is definitely not selfish. Instead, it indicates that you value yourself enough to protect your energy and peace from intruders.
Reasons Boundaries Are So Important
There are numerous reasons why boundaries are important. But here are a few of the most common, yet most neglected, reasons.
1. They teach others how to treat you
Most of the time, people approach us in their default way of treating people. Sadly, this default way is never healthy for both parties. So, you need to show people how you’d love to be treated.
Boundaries are the safest way to do that.
When you set limits to what someone can or cannot do to you, you show them how you prefer to be treated so you don’t get to deal with the repercussions of their default treatment.
2. Boundaries protect your authenticity
One of the most significant reasons boundaries are essential is because they protect your authenticity.
When you make your needs and values clear, you reinforce your sense of self. This reinforcement empowers you to live in ways that only align with your beliefs and identity rather than what others expect of you.
Also, when you make people’s limits clear in your life, you no longer need to force yourself to fit into any mold. People will know not to bring any mold when they’re interacting with you.
3. Boundaries are how you steward your soul
Because boundaries simply mean differentiating between what’s yours and what is the other person’s, they help you steward your soul.
Or, how are you supposed to take responsibility for nurturing yourself and growing your soul if you do not know where your responsibilities start and stop?
Here, boundaries are not exactly walls but guides that keep you grounded in your truth as you interact with others from the same place.
Still, wondering why boundaries are important in stewarding your soul? They help you say, “My life and soul are mine to tend, and I’ll be held accountable for how I care for them.”
4. Boundaries are important because they create room for real love and connection
Healthy boundaries create room for real love and affection by empowering relationships built on mutual respect, trust, and emotional safety.
When you clearly communicate your needs, limits, and values, you simply let others see and accept you as you are, not as someone you’re pretending to be to gain approval.
Consequently, this authenticity deepens emotional connection, eliminating the pressure to perform or please.
Boundaries are important because they also prevent resentment, burnout, and emotional imbalance, which can poison even the most well-intentioned relationships.
Relationships with boundaries allow love to flow freely rather than being a function of control, obligation, or guilt. As a result, affection becomes a genuine choice, not a duty.
5. Boundaries reveal the maturity of your identity.
Maturing in your identity or authenticity is the ability to confidently and consistently act based on your increasing level of self-awareness.
Setting boundaries helps you mature in your identity and authenticity. But that’s not all. It also reveals the level of this maturity.
Since boundaries show that you know who you are, what you value, and what (or who) you need to thrive, they help you increasingly demonstrate self-respect and emotional responsibility.
These, in turn, reveal your inner stability and a strong sense of self, which are key indicators of personal maturity.
6. Boundaries create space for God’s voice
When you are too busy meddling in someone else’s business, or someone else is too engrossed in your personal matters, you’ll have a hard time discerning what God wants from your life at any particular time.
When your life is always full of noise – requests, guilt, and pressure to please others, you leave no room for divine direction.
Boundaries are important because they keep you out of other people’s business and quiet enough to discern God’s voice.
7. Boundaries eliminate martyr syndrome
Ever heard of martyr syndrome? It is a condition where one consistently prioritizes the needs of others to their own detriment.
Christ is the only One ever designated to die for anyone. Every other person has been called to fulfill their divine destiny. But you can’t fulfill your destiny if you keep carrying other people’s responsibilities and neglecting yours.
When you set boundaries, you’ll know where your responsibility (in your life and the other person’s life) starts and ends. So you won’t be stuck carrying burdens and duties that aren’t yours.
8. They reveal who respects you and who just benefits from you.
Setting a boundary scares away people who are never there for you. Since boundaries empower you to live in your true identity, people who were in your life only for what they could get from you wouldn’t survive.
This can be pretty painful, but it’s freeing. It empowers you to give access only to those who truly deserve it and preserve your heart in the long run.
Conclusion
Now that you know why boundaries are important, I hope you’ll take the next big step to set up healthy boundaries in your life.
