When the subject of respect comes up, we somehow expect it to always be what we give to others or what others give to us.
But in the real sense, respect begins with you. Self-respect is the origin of every other respect that will ever exist. Until you respect yourself, it will be futile to expect respect from other people.
The truth is that you cannot ask others to value you if you’ve silently decided you don’t deserve it. And whether you like it or not, there will always be signs that you do not respect yourself if you genuinely do not. You can’t hide it.
But how can one possibly not respect themselves? I know what you’re thinking. Nobody deliberately decides not to respect themselves. But certain conditionings beyond your consciousness can bring you to a place of self-disrespect.
So, what are some signs you do not respect yourself?
You Do Subpar Work
Excellence isn’t just one of those fancy words we use in the self-development space. It is an essential part of intentional living and a critical sign of self-respect.
But when you disregard excellence, consistently do mediocre work, or appear shabby and unkempt, it is one of those glaring signs that you do not respect yourself.
When you submit subpar work or do something clumsily, it shows there is a disconnect between your values and your actions.
I’m not talking about making a mistake once in a while. I’m talking about consistently delivering below your standard.
When you disregard excellence, you neglect your integrity, insult your personal brand, and stifle your growth. You simply tell others that your voice, effort, and presence in the work don’t matter.
You Waste Your Time
Time is literally the most valuable asset you have as a human. It is finite and cannot be replaced. So, the way you use it shows how well you respect yourself.
When you consistently delay meaningful tasks, neglect personal growth, or fill your days with distractions, you’re sending a subtle message to yourself (and others) that your goals, dreams, and well-being aren’t worth the effort. You’re consequently saying that you do not really matter.
In the long run, this reflects low self-worth and shows that you don’t believe your life, potential, or future is important enough to invest a resource as valuable as time in yourself.
Take this free 3-minute quiz to see how much you respect yourself by the way you manage your time.
You Permit or Perpetuate Drama In Your Life
When you consistently leave room for drama in your life, it shows you do not count yourself worthy enough for the peace and progress accompanying a drama-free life.
Some of the ways you permit or perpetuate drama in your life include:
- Constantly gossiping and spreading lies about others.
- Overreacting to minor issues.
- Refusing to set or respect other people’s boundaries.
- Jumping to conclusions without seeking clarification.
- Holding extended grudges and bringing up past conflicts.
- Seeking attention by victimizing yourself all the time.
- Stirring conflict on social media or in group chats.
- Taking sides in disputes that do not involve or affect you.
- Avoiding accountability by blaming others for everything.
- Constantly comparing yourself to other people and taking actions based on that comparison.
You Allow People to Dishonor You
This one may be a hard pill for you to swallow if you have always had a wrong interpretation of humility.
Humility has nothing to do with looking down on yourself or allowing others to treat you in dishonorable ways. When you constantly let other people dishonor you, then it is one of those signs that you do not respect yourself.
The reason is that by allowing dishonor, you send a message that you do not even know your worth, and it’s okay for others to define it for you. That is the highest form of self-disrespect.
What are some vivid examples of how you allow people to dishonor you?
- Staying silent when someone repeatedly speaks to you with disrespect.
- Allowing a partner to violate your boundaries without consequence.
- Apologizing for things that are in no way your fault just for peace to reign.
- Allowing people to make demeaning jokes about you.
- Continuing to give time and energy to people who are only taking advantage of you.
- Consistently letting coworkers take credit for your work without speaking up.
- Staying in toxic and abusive environments out of fear of being alone.
- Downplaying your achievements so others don’t feel uncomfortable.
You Settle
Settling is not humility. You simply say that you do not deserve the best and you are not worth the effort and time people should put into giving you their best.
When you’re always comfortable being given or treated to the bare minimum, you do not really respect yourself.
When you stay in situations – relationships, jobs, or habits – that you know aren’t right for you, you’re indirectly saying that your happiness, growth, and fulfillment aren’t worth fighting for.
Conclusion
Now that you understand the signs that you do not respect yourself, what will you do differently?
Will you make an effort to understand and reinforce your worth in your speech, actions, and responses? Or will you continue to look down on yourself and invite others to do the same?
