Love who you are

5 Things You’re Doing that May Be Pointing to Low Self-Esteem

The first half of this glorious year is speedily coming to a wrap. Could you describe what it’s been like for you? In one word? And what do you hope to achieve in the second half?

No pressures, please.

I just believe it’s not out of order to have expectations. Don’t forget that having a specific target in mind fuels productivity and the accomplishment of those expectations. I’d get into all that detail in a later post.

For today, I want to talk about something pretty crucial – self-esteem.

In reality, today’s topic is something nearly everyone has dealt with (and will deal with) at specific points in life. But, for most people, this dealing is usually subconscious. I mean, people navigate through seasons and checks in life without the slightest clue that they’re dealing with self-esteem-related issues.

However, the truth is that nobody was born into the world with an excellent self-image. Check out this post to know why. Your self-image (which determines how you esteem yourself) starts to form as you interact with your world and those around you. And in David Seamands’ words, your self-esteem comes from the image and feelings you have about yourself. It builds from the value and worth you place on those images and feelings.

Unfortunately, not everyone gets an opportunity to build their self-esteem through conscious efforts. Hence, you find that many people never know when low self-esteem is the cause of their problems.

Mind teaser: Do you know that low self-esteem is among the top root causes of problems in most marriages?

But let’s not deviate. Here are five simple and everyday indicators that may be pointing to low self-esteem.

You Try to Explain the Object of Compliments

Honestly, I’ve caught myself doing this more times than I can say, and I’ve been terribly embarrassed afterward🙈.

Others: Your hair is so beautiful.

You: Thank you, but I hope you know I’m reusing the hair extension?


Others: You have such a lovely voice!

You: Oh, thanks, but I’m still trying to pitch to F (I, the author, know nothing about musical keys – absolutely nothing 😌)

At first glance, those responses might sound like the response of a humble person. But have you tried to think that you so easily find ways to explain compliments because something within you feels you don’t deserve the compliments? Or maybe they’re just too much for you, and those explanations are your way of drawing yourself back to reality?

Fortunately, it’s not a sin to think highly of yourself – scriptures actually recommend we do so.

…not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly…

Rom 12:3

The sin is when you think more highly than you ought.

So c’mon. Learn to accept compliments with your full chest while carefully accepting your Designer’s pride ☺️. If people compliment you, then you sure deserve it!

You Easily Join the Band Wagon

Do you find yourself going beyond reason to use the most recent social jargon?

Do you save to buy the latest phone because it’s ‘what everybody is using’?

Or are you now showing cleavage because Instagram ladies look dang doing it?

My sweet, you may be running low on self-esteem.

Now, this isn’t to say it is an abomination to buy the latest phone, shoes, or car. I’m only saying doing things because others are doing them simply shows that you pay less attention to your personal values and wouldn’t mind surviving on whatever the crowd throws at you.

And if you feel offended at this point (regardless of your gender), I’d need you to sit back with your journal and do a reality check on your values and self-worth. Take some time to vent, if you prefer😎. But please still sit with your journal and ask yourself some damage-repairing questions.

You Compare Yourself with Others

I find this situation really sad because it causes a highly-endowed and gifted individual (who hasn’t discovered themselves) to stay stuck in comparison with someone they should, by ordination, be ahead of.

When you compare yourself with others, it means you’re yet to attain a healthy self-identity. Conversely, you’ll be unable to see and appreciate the graces at work in your life.

But then, comparing yourself with others doesn’t point to a self-esteem problem alone. Read this blog to see the devastation comparison can cost you.

You Show Up Unkempt and Turn In Poorly Completed Projects

If you have a relatively healthy image of yourself, you won’t turn in a document full of errors, a job laden with omissions, and a project filled with inadequacies. Healthy self-esteem would also restrain you from continually showing up with an unkempt and messy look. Having enough self-respect keeps you aiming for excellence in all you do. You’ll find out more in my post on how to build self-confidence, so stay tuned!

And hey, you should know that dressing properly has nothing to do with affluence. It has everything to do with the value you place on yourself.

You Survive On What People Think of You

This is a discussion for another day.

But do you only take action when you feel people would approve of them and keep back when you feel they wouldn’t?

Or do you always stop to think ‘what will people say’ whenever you’re making crucial decisions in your life?

You may be dealing with low self-esteem.


Did you find something you’re guilty of?

Let me know in the comments!

Next, I want you to meditate on these words. Soak in every letter, and let their meanings sink in your spirit.

Also, brace yourself. God has something significant (in impact, not size) in store for us on boosting self-esteem. Anticipate!

Don’t forget to share!!

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13 thoughts on “5 Things You’re Doing that May Be Pointing to Low Self-Esteem”

  1. Low self esteem is not of God, it can cause a lot of problems in someone’s life like depression, it can cause them from losing an opportunity, they can’t see possible opportunities for themselve, they will keep depending on others, etc.
    someone with low esteem issues can’t fulfil Matthew 5:13 -16

  2. Comparing our life with that of others is common especially in this era of social media however we need to be careful not to erode our self confidence all because of make believe world of the social media

    1. And the sad thing is that people who are supposed to be helping our youths differentiate their lives with what they find on social media are often the ones aggravating matters.

      1. In my point of view, I will say they are using that one to make us focus on ourselves and improve more than them not to be as they’re, but sometimes they also loose focus from their primary goals and obviously push us to do what we ought not to do.

  3. this article is a MUST READ for every youth in this jet age, indeed Self esteem is a key factor to success. Thanks med.

  4. I think I have self esteem issues. Majorly as a result of me failing in lots of my targets.
    What would you recommend I do

    1. Hi Israel. I suppose having a few hours to meditate and journal will help.
      Find out why those failure happened. Were the faults 100% yours? I believe they shouldn’t be. Even if you caused those failure somehow, try to create a plan to deal with the flaws or weaknesses that led to it. Trust me, when you start making progress on fixing those flaws, you’ll start to gain confidence in yourself again. You can also ask God to help you see that He is your Supplier of strength for execution. That light is absolutely a game changer.
      Let me know the progress.
      Cheers to a more confident you!

  5. Pingback: You Don’t Need to Prepare For Marriage – Intentional Living with Meb

  6. Pingback: When Should You Worry About What People Will Say? – Intentional Living with Meb

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