Practical Tips for Drama-Free Friendships

I was going through one of my journals recently and stumbled upon some friendship tips I taught myself over a year ago. I drew these tips from lessons I learned in a season when one of my friendships was undergoing a severe storm.

I applied these lessons to the rest of my friendships, some even before I started them, and they have worked wonders for me. Using these tips, along with the help of God, I have been able to save myself from a ton of drama when it comes to my friendships.

I’ve noticed that a lot of young adults experience so much difficulty navigating friendship and its requirements. So, I strongly believe this post (along with this) will help you enjoy drama-free friendships and also navigate your friendships with wisdom.

Don’t forget to send me my flowers after reading them.????????

Learn To Set Boundaries and Unapologetically Stick To Them

Sounds harsh and unfriendly, right?

Wrong.

Boundaries only sound harsh to people who have a problem with order because boundaries are created to ensure order!

Setting boundaries in your relationships ensures that you and the other party know where each person’s part begins and ends. Boundaries also ensure that you make the most of your relationships without losing your identity in that territory.

A healthy boundary helps you speak up on what you do not appreciate in a relationship without the fear of being ditched. It is the pillar behind your ability to turn down gist time with your friends when you have a project to work on. Boundaries also ensure that you do not suffer emotional or physical abuse against your will in your relationships.

You may need to check your boundaries if you ever find it too hard to say no to your friends – even at your peril. Your relationship can actually be more potent than it currently is.

PS: Just to be sure we are on the same page on the meaning of relationship here, I mean even your platonic friendships, and relationship with your church members, neighbors, and colleagues.

Allow People Time To Prove Themselves and Never Be Afraid To Say No To Friendship Advances

Allowing people time to prove they’re your friend is entirely liberating – at least before you start going those remarkable extra miles for them. You need people to prove themselves because a solid, healthy friendship is a two-way thing and must involve effort from both parties.

If the other person does not prove or show that they’re interested in starting something with you, they may eventually flow with the tide of your commitment, but you’ll never see any effort from their end. You may call them your friends, but they won’t see you as their friend. This, my dear, can be undeniably heartbreaking.

Before I commit to anyone as a friend (because I see commitment as a vital part of my friendships), I ensure that we both verbally affirm that we are friends. This might sound awkward, but I promise you, it has saved me from heartbreak and overwhelm.

Also, we only talk about red flags when we want to get into a romantic relationship. But even your friendships need the red flag evaluation before you invest in them.

You should look out for no-nos in that person you hope to become friends with. When you see one, never be afraid to decline that friendship and love them from a distance.

You might be asking, what could constitute a red flag in typical friendship? Meb, aren’t you taking this thing too far?

No, I’m not. My relationships are a big deal to me, so there’s nothing wrong with ensuring I do them rightly.

For the red flags, look out for things cast in stone and against your core beliefs and values. Look out for signs of perpetual abuse, neglect, and everything you look out for before your romantic relationships.

Learn To Be Okay With People Not Wanting to Be Your Friend

I once tried to be friends with someone, but she never budged. At first, I’d be hurt whenever she did not reciprocate my gestures or show any sign of being my friend. I even started to resent her.

But I had to move on and relate with her from a distance when I realized that not everyone would be my friend, and it’s okay. Now, we talk and exchange pleasantries whenever we see, but I know we are not friends. And honestly, I’m super glad the friendship never happened because…

I want you to have this mindset too, but without forgetting that you are a favored breed, and people will always be compelled to love and help you – whether or not they want to be friends with you.

Stop Looking for Friendships To Complete You

Do you know one of the top reasons why most marriages fail so woefully in their early years? Most intending brides and grooms never find wholeness before marriage. So, when they eventually get married, they start to look for wholeness in their spouses – demanding the impossible. When it doesn’t happen, it starts to feel like they married the wrong people.

The same thing happens with platonic friendships. When you make friends because you feel you need to have a crowd of them to be complete, you set yourself up for disaster.

First, it would take a miracle for you to find your true self in that situation. Secondly, you’ll be signing up for a lot of drama because no other human completes you. Only God has that space.

Do You Have Friends Who Cherish You? Give Them Your All

When you stay busy loving your friends and helping them unravel the best of themselves, God will literally have to draw your attention to making new friends because you’ll be too occupied with giving your whole self and receiving love.

So, call the friends you have now. Encourage them. Pray for them. Support them. Hang out with them. Send them opportunities. Rejoice with them. And ensure you are always a good friend to them.

Don’t forget to comment on this post and share with your tribe!