Ask for help

Why You Should Never Hesitate to Ask for Help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or incompetence. It is a subtle sign of strength, and not many people have yet realized this.

When I was much younger, I thought that women who had maids and nannies were simply lazy or evading the responsibility of taking care of their children. Yeah, your guess is correct. I thought this way because I was brought up to believe that a woman who loves to do housework until she breaks is the one who is wise and will keep her home.


Unfortunately, as a young girl, I saw firsthand how I could only be loved when I had done more house chores than my fragile body could handle. Not just at home – I also experienced this with different women (relatives and non-relatives) I happened to spend short periods with at different times in my life.

But thank God I know better now. It’s totally okay for women to get as much help as they need with physical work in the home, although I still hold some very valid reservations about handing your children to nannies and caregivers. I’ll share these reservations at the end of this post (or another post😁).

So, tell me, have you ever been in a position where you felt a little help from someone would have made a big difference for you? But you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for help because you were scared of being perceived as weak and dependent?

Or have you failed so terribly at stuff simply because you tried to juggle them all by yourself, whereas the smallest help would have gone a long way to ensuring you get them right?

Or are you currently in a phase of your life where you feel that the activities and different demands in your life are beginning to overwhelm you, but you feel bringing others in will make you appear lazy and incompetent?

I’m here to tell you that IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. It’s okay to receive as much help as you can get from other people.

I know you’ve been told (or even feel) that you appear stronger, smarter, or more confident when you try to do everything by yourself. But do you know where the real strength lies? True strength and confidence are shown when you understand yourself enough to know where you need help and be humble and polite enough to ask for and receive that help!

Let me share some reasons why you should never feel bad about receiving help. Note that this post covers both paid help and favors.

You Increase Your Chances of Success

Think about it.

You have a personal project you need to complete before a given deadline, but you lack expertise in some of the areas you need to make that project a success.

Well, those skills could even be what you can learn within a short time. But don’t you think calling on the experts in those areas would help you arrive at your deadline faster? Also, consider everything that could go wrong while you use an untested skill on a project that is important to you.

Or better still, look at this Forbes study that shows how asking for help improves the overall results you get at the end of the day.

Should you decide to struggle when you could have had help, you may be admired for pulling it off all by yourself. But you’ll certainly enjoy greater results when you are able to receive help from other people to make that project a success.

You Rid Your Life of Stress and Confusion

Whether it’s soliciting sound counsel from a trusted friend or getting help with a skill you lack, asking for and receiving help rids your life of confusion and stress.

Imagine all the other things you could accomplish with the extra time you get when you receive help. Picture that burden (of trying to figure things out all by yourself) being lifted off your neck simply because you asked for help.

Let’s picture two working-class women, each having two children. Imagine that woman number 1 has help with the chores and minor tasks around the house, and the other does not.

The second woman comes home from a 9-5 and jumps into cooking and cleaning until about 9 pm or 10 pm before she gets the chance to meet her bed. By then, she would be too exhausted even to think of anything else. She still has to get up at 4 am to continue the race without enough sleep.

There is no telling how much stress woman number 2 would have accumulated after undergoing this cycle for a few years.

You Make Your Life Beautiful

Now, think about the first woman from our example above. This woman pays someone a very small part of her earnings (even 10% isn’t too much) to clean her house, do the laundry, cook and refrigerate good meals on weekends.

By the time this woman comes home, she is able to spend time with her family, take some courses to advance her career, and even indulge in some recreational or entertaining activities. Health, growth, bliss!

I want you to start to approach the subject of seeking help as doing what is necessary to ensure that you do not give up on the important things in your life. So, if you need to spend a few days at a friend’s to secure a new job in a new city, don’t be afraid to ask for an invitation. If you need directions for the next steps to take at a critical stage of your walk with God, don’t be ashamed to ask God or other trusted persons for help.

You Secure Your Mental Health

Well, you may have heard so many motivational speakers tell you that failure is a part of life and you must fail at some point to enjoy true success. I honestly won’t go into details about that. But you save yourself a lot when you prevent failure at anything simply by getting help.

Remember that when you fail at something after making efforts at it, you lose those resources (time, energy, money) put into the project. And somewhere in your subconscious, you become aware of the possibility of failure. Failure threatens your sense of security in ways that can only be fixed by deliberate efforts.

Trust me, it is best to avoid all that in the first place – irrespective of how many lessons you can pick from the failed event.

So, go ahead and get that help – even if it means paying someone to step in to restructure your execution process.

You Enjoy the Goodness in Other People

People want to help. Honestly.

Okay, I get it.

Maybe you asked for help in the past, and that 1 person ensured that the entire world found out that they helped you. But hey, the remaining 8,045,311,446 people on earth have not done that to you. Isn’t it unsafe to draw your conclusions just yet?

People are willing and ready to help you. The only problem could be that your timing and what you want them to do might be clashing with theirs and the interests in their lives. If you are able to ask for the right help at the right time (negotiation?), you’ll be sure to get the help you need.

And what happened to the favored breed you’ve always been?

You Improve Your Relationship with Others

One sweet thing about receiving help from people is that when they get satisfaction (monetary, physical, spiritual, or emotional) from helping you, they’d want to do it again.

Yes, you’d also be happy to receive help from them again. And you’ll be ever willing to step in whenever the good turn deserves another. Soon, these people can become an active part of your circle – even if not the closest.

You’re Only Human

I didn’t have to say that, did I?

But it’s true, and you cannot pull everything off by yourself.

Some things are even beyond our realm as humans, and we can only lean into God’s realm by seeking His help to access those things.


The next time you feel reluctant to ask for help, remember that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain when you ask for and receive help from other people!

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3 thoughts on “Why You Should Never Hesitate to Ask for Help”

  1. Thank you so much for this. Often times I find myself in that tight corner, and I usually find it difficult to reach out. It’d prefer to pull through myself, just to avoid being perceived as weak. Not because I don’t know that asking for help would simplify things, but sometimes the courage to ask usually isn’t there.
    But today I’m encouraged.
    Thanks again.

  2. Josiah Benedict Lawal

    Thank you so very much for this wonderful piece here!
    I was actually being so sceptical about asking for help from just anyone, probably for the fear of rejection, or being turned down or even being laughed at.
    But, thanks anyways. I learnt that, when one laughs at me, a thousand are out there to help without prejudice. Thanks so much. More grace to your elbow!

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