I was living life, content with the way things were going, till my fragile heart started rebelling. I discovered how pitiable I have become, with loneliness being my closest and only companion…
The void was widening every day, threatening to swallow me up. For a moment, I wanted to go with it thinking perhaps I would not have to wish for “other” things. Oh!! How I prayed for choices to be stripped away from me! My state of nothingness was gradually becoming enjoyable, and then you walked into my life – again.
I don’t know how I managed to lose you the first time or the second or the numerous times we parted ways, but you kept coming back. Teasing me with companionship until I craved your presence. But all too soon, despair settled in because I knew I could never have you.
You are selfless, whereas I am nothing but selfish. You are calm where I am a raging mess. You are bright rays where I am gloom. You are life where I stink of death. I want you, I need you, but I won’t let myself feel just yet, else I lose you again. I would rather you taunt me with your presence than not have you at all.
Then that day, you reached out to touch me. I realized I liked your touch. It made me feel things; the wholeness you brought with you threatened the void growing in me, and for the first time, I wanted the void gone, I wanted what you had to offer, so I reached out. I clung to you, not imagining living with loneliness as a companion anymore. The entirety of you was filling, and I wanted to be full, to taste the bliss of contentment.
Perhaps I am selfish in wanting you all to myself. But in my quest to heal, I pushed that thought down, I looked into your kind eyes, and I saw the emotions. You were also feeling what I was feeling!!!! So, I reached out to you and said those words, “Never let me go, I need you, fill me with you “…then you smiled down at me, and I knew I was going to be alright, never letting you go again.
I searched out loneliness, and it waved me goodbye, telling me it couldn’t stay anymore as it did not feel welcome. The void was gradually closing, and I felt it. Like a wave, it washed over me. What was the word again? Peace, I think it’s called, it introduced itself as my new companion, with open arms I welcomed my new friend.
Then I saw you smiling down at me, and I nearly choked with emotion. You were mine!!! Then you whispered down at me, I am yours!!!, hand in hand, I and my beloved walked down, never to part ways…
