Here’s Why You Put Yourself Under Unnecessary Pressures

Peer pressure, competition, worry, anxiety…whatever it is called. Sometimes, that urgency we feel to become someone, get something done, or own something is usually not a wholesome feeling. And the truth is that you often will not know when you begin to mount unnecessary pressures on yourself until you get to an explosion point.

So, why do those unnecessary pressures come? Why do we feel that inordinate need to change things quickly? Why do we pressure ourselves unnecessarily to get employed, look a certain way, use the latest gadgets, have a certain amount of money or influence, or move with a specific group of people?

You Compare Yourself with Others

If we were all to live separately, say on different planets, I’m pretty sure that all the competition and silent pressures we place on ourselves would not exist. Because, honestly, if you look deep within, some of those pressures are not innate. They do not originate from looking inward. They’re often born from looking outward – at other people.

You probably see a picture of your high schoolmate and her lavish wedding ceremony. You’re already under pressure to get a man (if you don’t have one) or add extra figures to your wedding budget.

Other times, it may be that someone in your circle is succeeding at something, and you’re compelled to start something too. It may not be to prove anything to other people but to prove to yourself that you, too, can succeed at something.

If only we’d learn that our differences make us unique, the competition would be less fierce, and the pressure would be mild.

You Do Not Discern Your Season

Sweetheart, in life, there is something called season. In the same way the earth has spring, autumn, summer, and winter, our lives happen in seasons. And we all go through different seasons of our lives at different times, irrespective of age or financial status. I.e., two 30-year-olds can be in two entirely different seasons simultaneously.

But one very peculiar but somewhat frustrating fact about seasons is that you cannot skip seasons without dire consequences. Now, that’s because every season has a lesson, an experience, a reward, and a state of being it is to impart to you.

Also, the outcomes of a previous season are usually essential for the next season. Such that it will be impossible to move to another season without completing a previous one. In the same way you cannot take Algebra 2 in 8th grade if you’ve not learned introductory algebra in 7th grade. And failing to submit to a season’s pruning and proving means you’ll prolong that season. A child who cannot solve simple algebra will most likely repeat the 7th grade until he can do that.

So, how does an inability to discern your season put you under unnecessary pressure?

Let’s assume you’re in your season of waiting and growth. This season may not come with all the convenience and material rewards you may be longing after (which your mates may already have). If you fail to discern that your season is the reason things are the way they are, you may be in a hurry to meet up with your mates or prove to people that there’s nothing wrong with you.

In so doing, you’ll not only be going out of alignment, you’ll be missing out on the rewards, lessons, experiences, and identity changes that come with that season. You’ll also be prolonging that unpleasant season and procrastinating the manifestation of more palatable seasons.

The reason you’re currently unemployed may be that you have behavioral problems you need to deal with, or you need to sharpen your skills to be ready for an ample opportunity. If you fail to discern this, you may eventually lobby for a job, get in there and do woefully. You may even land yourself in jail because you have yet to deal with an undue appetite for money.

Do you see?

I understand that some seasons are unpleasant and can be quite discomforting. But remember that even God had to do seasons too. If not, Jesus, our savior, would have just appeared as a grown adult in the garden of Eden right after the fall to redeem man. But seasons had to pass before redemption came, and even when the time was right, Jesus came as a newborn.

You Don’t Trust God

Wherefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? … for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

Matt 6:30-32

If you believe the word of God and His promise to take care of you and supply your needs, then you shouldn’t worry or put unnecessary pressure to perform on yourself. One thing I know for sure is that as long as you are in God’s will, He will surely meet your emotional, spiritual, physical, financial, and relational needs.

So, can we form a new habit?

Anytime you find yourself worrying so much and getting under pressure for something somewhat beyond your control, calm yourself down by confessing the word of God to yourself. Remind yourself that God is still your Father, and He can never become an irresponsible father. Use affirmations, and place your heart in trust mode towards God.

You Need a Paradigm Shift

Unfortunately, some of the things we often allow to place an undue burden on us are usually not the most essential things in life.

Chill, I know getting a job is essential. But can you take off that pressure to do a white-collar job and make do with the menial job you can get while you hone your hard skills and gain soft skills? How about fixing other areas of your life? Your relationship with God? With money? Your mindset? 

It is also good to look good and use the latest technology (at least for convenience). But when your definition of life revolves around superficial things, we may need a little discussion.

Sometimes, we really need to ask ourselves some questions before making some decisions. For example, videos are circulating the internet of how women want to keep their boyfriends so that they can have someone to buy them Christmas clothes and shoes. I don’t even want to get into the subject of women needing a man before they can meet their basic needs. But what exactly is the essence of all the fuss we make about festivities.

Okay, sis. You’ve bought that hair extension, the latest dress, and the happening shoe. You’ll probably wear it to a mall or a party on the 25th or 26th. Or you’ve saved your salary for months just to buy an expensive gadget that would still need you to spend money on it for maintenance. 

After that, what happens next?

Okay, people admire you and take note that you own the latest. But after that, what happens next? How does that make you a better person? How does it make the world a better place? Do you think the reward is worth all the pressure you go through?

The next time you catch yourself hyperventilating because of some undue pressure you place on yourself, do come back here and refresh!