judging others

You’ve Got to Stop Judging Others

Dark knuckles have always turned me off for as long as I can remember. Whenever I see a woman with darker knuckles, I’m always like, “”why the heck is this woman bleaching? Now her knuckles have refused to bleach with the rest of her skin”.

But that’s not the worst of what I think about dark knuckles.

Now because I naturally associate undue modification of bodily features with a broken sense of self, I always see women with dark knuckles as people with esteem problems.

Yes, I know, very lame.

But then, I got the shocker of my life just recently.

I was doing my nails and had to spread my fingers to properly admire the art I had completed.

That was when I saw them!

My knuckles were noticeably darker than the skin around my hand!

Honestly, I was so shocked to find that I could have that too! Me? Dark knuckles? Not in this world! My self-esteem is just too high for that!

But then, my knuckles were what they were!

I slowly began to loathe my body cream, avoiding it as much as possible. I also started scrutinizing my entire skin every day to ensure that my legs were not a different complexion than the rest of my body.

And I spent more time researching the properties of whitening creams. I wanted to make sure there was no hidden whitening substance in my body cream.

Anyways, I currently don’t know why my knuckles are dark because my skin and cream are fine. I’ve also not become any lighter than I’ve always remembered my skin.

Do you know what else?

I’ve started to see other women with dark knuckles quite differently now. And I’ve learned – the hard way – to stop judging them because, like me, they may not also know why their knuckles become darkened over time.

I’ve also learned to stop relating what people’s knuckles look like with their self-esteem. 

And even when people have dark knuckles because they are using whitening products that couldn’t knock melanin out of their joints, what on earth is my business with that?

Where am I headed with all these?

Like I’ve done all along, most of us tend to reach for rose-colored glasses whenever we have to look at ourselves. But the moment it gets to others, we take those glasses off and put on high-definition microscopes. We are quick to judge others on an issue when we are guilty of the same crimes.

We can clearly see where our neighbors, colleagues, friends, domestic help, and rivals are getting everything wrong. But we fail to see the consistent patterns of our misdoings.

We shut our eyes to our disorganized lifestyle and incongruent scheduling systems. But we always have a thing or two to say about our friends who are leading reckless lives.

It doesn’t take us anything to preach to that young man whose source of income is questionable. Still, we do not see the evil in those ”tiny sums” we pocket or mismanage from our office projects.

We can quickly conclude that our domestic staff members are rebellious and untrustworthy. But we cannot correct our toddlers who wouldn’t take ”no” for an answer.

The list goes on and on, and you can even personalize it to your reality.

Now, this is not to say that it’s out of place to dislike some bad behaviors or attributes people manifest. Neither am I saying you should never correct people when they’re wrong.

But hey, how do you even feel telling people to stop behaving in a certain way when you’re doing the exact thing? How do you tell people to steer clear of something when you’re addicted to that same thing?


Here’s how Jesus put it in Matthew 7:3:

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

Why not ensure you do not have a beam in your eye before you can request to take the mote out of the other person’s eye? Why not do away with the judgmental perceptions you have of others, so you can clearly deal with the many flaws in your own life?

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Yes, look deep within you. What are those things you’ve brutally criticized in others? Have you checked to be double sure you’re not doing even worse than those you judge and criticize?

Judge not!

If you must, be polite enough to begin with yourself.

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