You try to act confident and all put together, but deep down, you know it wouldn’t take too much to flip you into an emotional wreck.
Or maybe you’re constantly worrying about how people feel about you, and your emotions are easily messed up by what they do or do not do to you.
Dearest, these are obvious signs that you are emotionally insecure
But being emotionally insecure is not a death sentence. It is only an indication that you have a wound that needs healing.
It simply suggests that there is something you need to fix in your life – it does not mean that you are broken. And trust me, you are definitely not alone on this one. So many people deal with emotional insecurity at different points in their lives.
This blog will help you spot that wound so you can find healing and become the best, most grounded version of yourself.
Let’s look at six subtle signs that you are emotionally insecure.
You Cannot Do without External Validation
So, nobody noticed your expensive new watch at that meeting, and now you’re engulfed by so much sadness that your entire day gets ruined?
Then, it is a sign that you are emotionally insecure.
When you always need the praise, commendation, or compliments of others to feel worthy, it means you are insecure about your innate worth as a person.
You’re Willing to Do Anything to Be Liked
Ever caught yourself overthinking conversions long after they are over? That’s a sign that you care too much about what people think of you – and want to be liked by them.
Nothing wrong with going over conversations – for memory or recollection.
But when you start to get sad, upset, angry, or frustrated analyzing the things you said or did not say during a conversation, it’s a sign that you are emotionally insecure.
Desiring to be liked by everyone can lead to oversharing in conversations. You share with people more information about your life than is appropriate for the depth of your relationship with them.
Another indicator is that you always try to adjust your behavior and preferences to match what you believe people would like about you.
You Avoid Conflict – Even When It Is Necessary
Yup.
When you are constantly doing everything to be liked by others, you wouldn’t dare have any conflict with them. You’d agree with everything they say – even when they go against everything else in your life.
The truth is that conflicts are a healthy and inevitable part of life and relationships. It is simply proof that you are uniquely different from the other person. The impact conflicts leave on your relationship will then be determined by how you handle them.
Failure to make room for necessary conflict in your relationship will leave you living your life for others and out of your original design. With time, you begin to lose your authenticity, and your entire life will be controlled by other people’s opinions.
You Struggle with Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
Obviously, when you are obsessed with being liked by everyone, you CANNOT set or maintain healthy boundaries. You’ll be too afraid to even tell anyone ‘no,’ not to talk of telling them how you prefer they treat you.
The reason is that emotional insecurity makes you feel worthy only when you are available to everyone at the same time.
But this is not true. Your self-worth is only tied to the value you bring to other people, not merely being there whenever they feel they need you.
You are Easily Offended
If the slightest criticism or rejection from people sends you into an emotional frenzy, then you may be emotionally insecure.
I know rejections and criticisms can be pretty hurtful, especially when they’re coming from people you love or admire.
But when the smallest ‘no’ makes you question and doubt your worth as a person, then you need to work on reaffirming your identity and self-worth.
Or maybe yours isn’t even an outright rejection. It could be that you pick offense at the smallest things, or you overanalyze and personalize everything people say or do around you. That’s a sign that you are emotionally insecure.
You Are Threatened by Other People’s Success
When the success of others makes you feel less successful or less important, then it is a sign of emotional insecurity.
Yeah. You often catch yourself being envious or jealous of other people’s happiness.
Even if you’re not envious, you may find it difficult to ask people for help or allow the people under you to shine. All because you feel that the spotlight on others devalues your worth as an individual.
What Causes Emotional Insecurity?
Several factors can ultimately lead to you being an emotionally insecure person.
While some of these things are long-term and may take some time to deal with, others are occurrences that momentarily upset your sense of worth.
Some of these causes include:
- Not being grounded in your identity
- Having unhealed emotional wounds
- Nursing unmet life expectations
- Being raised in a relatively less privileged setting
- Engaging in persistent negative self-talk
- Living on autopilot and not being intentional about your life
- Constantly comparing yourself to others
How to Deal with Emotional Insecurity
To get past that juncture of emotional insecurity, you’ll first need to identify its root cause. Start by checking for any of the causes highlighted above.
Another essential step you’d want to take is to build self-confidence.
Not the confidence that comes from external or material stuff. I’m talking about building self-confidence that comes from your core and cannot be shaken by what people do or do not do.
Read this blog to learn practical (no fluff) ways you can build lasting self-confidence.
As you navigate this phase of overcoming emotional insecurity, please be gentle with yourself. Gently identify its root cause and tackle things from there. Don’t forget to shower so much love on yourself as you do so.
