I Did Not Deserve Ice Cream

A short while ago, I began craving ice cream so much that it was always the first thing I would think of whenever I opened my refrigerator. The first few days, I thought it was a minor craving that would vanish whenever I ate. You know how hunger can make you want to eat everything in the world? Yeah, especially when you’re fasting????.

Days passed, and the craving didn’t budge. Instead, it became so intense that I began to imagine every food I ate as ice cream. I almost started dreaming of ice cream. Yes, cravings can be that bad for me.

Why Didn’t I Just Buy Ice-cream Already?

Why didn’t I just go out, flag down a cab, and make a beeline for the nearest ice cream shop? So many reasons (weight loss is not even one of them).

First, at the time, there was a currency crunch in my country, and due to the cashless economy we were trying to adopt, cash was very short in supply.

Buying the ice cream wasn’t a problem because I could use my card to pay for that. But commercial transport drivers only wanted cash – which was very hard to come by. So, you only get to go out (and spend the hard-to-get cash) for crucial things. And to me, buying ice cream wasn’t the least important (sorry, I’m not sure I qualify to be called a foodie).

Secondly, each time I thought of how I’d dress up, do my hair, and walk out of the house to get a vehicle, discarding the ice cream idea was always the easiest thing to do because the ice cream shop isn’t along my regular route. And I could always have healthier drinks by simply opening my refrigerator ????????‍♂️.

Lastly, and most significantly, I figured that I did not deserve ice cream as I wasn’t exactly a good girl that period. No, I did not do any evil thing. I simply hadn’t used my time as well as I would have loved to. I had spent more time than was permissible (for me) on social media, and I only narrowly met my deadlines with work and personal development.

So, I felt I did not deserve to have even a scoop of ice cream until I was “good enough.”

I Finally Bought Ice Cream

However, as I returned home one day – after several days of denying myself the pleasure of satisfying my craving – I decided to go the extra mile to get that ice cream. #you should applaud me at this point ????.

Brethren, I even got an extra cup for keeps. But as I hurried home (so the ice cream doesn’t melt????), a thought was struggling to stay on my mind.

The thought went along the lines of ‘You’re so undisciplined. Buying yourself whatever you want even when you don’t deserve it. See how much work you didn’t complete this week. Do you know how many hours you spent on Instagram this week?’

At first, I tried to simply sweep the thought under the carpet of my mind. But another thought overshadowed it, and I believe God decided to seize that opportunity to minister to me. Here’s what the overshadowing thought read:

“If you feel you deserve ice cream (or any other thing) because you’ve been good, then you haven’t understood the grace of God.”

What Ice Cream Taught Me

I know. What has the grace of God got to do with buying ice cream? Ice cream isn’t a big deal!

Well, you’re right. Ice cream isn’t a big deal.

But if you’re like me and feel you don’t deserve to have God’s blessings and the good things of life until you have prayed, fasted, and suffered some, then you’re most likely building on sinking sand. You’re also denying yourself good – as I denied myself the pleasure of a few ice cream scoops – for nothing.

Am I inferring that we shouldn’t pray, study the word, give alms, or fast?

Not at all.

As believers, we cannot do without prayer and fasting. But when they become the anchor on which we think we deserve God’s best, we have missed the point and are replacing the grace of God with our works.

Here. Let me break it down.

Why Does God Love Us?

God loves us because He is love, and His loving us is an expression of His nature, not a reward for something we have done.

… for God is love. I John 4:8b

Why Has God Blessed Us?

He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places because Christ (Ephesians 1:3) because His Son has been made a curse for us so that we may be blessed. Not because we pray for 10 hours. 

Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree: That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

Galatians 3:13-14

Why Does God Forgive Our Sins?

God forgives our sins, not simply because we cry out our eyes for mercy when we go astray.

Having godly remorse when we sin is a sign of a good heart toward God. But that alone is never enough to save anyone because the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), and nothing can change that.

But in our case, Christ has died our death, and in Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.

So, God forgives us because Christ’s blood has atoned for our sins. Not just because we can cry out for mercy. If Christ had not blotted out our sins, we would have to die for them, irrespective of how long we cry for mercy. You can ask the children of Israel.

So, do you see?

We do not get God’s love and grace because we pray and worship Him, but we pray and worship him because we have received His Love. Anything (that isn’t the cross of Jesus) we do that gives us the confidence to think we deserve God’s goodness is  filthy rag and the arm of flesh – which will undoubtedly fail.  

As a beloved brother posted on social media recently, “see the work you put in as the “prize” you get for being a child of God, not the “price” you pay to receive anything from God.”

Only one price is worthy of giving us access to God, and that is the blood of Jesus. Not your prayer (sorry). Not your fasting. And definitely not your deprivation of “worldly” things. We only do those “godly” things as a response to WHAT God has done for us.

If you’re wondering, ‘why then do I still need to pray, fast, and live right if Christ has done it all?’

Stay tuned. I’ll explain that in my next post.

In the meantime, whenever you feel you don’t deserve any good thing from God, remind yourself that you don’t have to earn God’s blessings to have them. Christ has made you worthy to have them through the love of God.