Do negative emotions ever speak?
Do they not merely leave your mental and physical health in such a horrible state? Aren’t we supposed to get rid of negative emotions immediately they show their ugly heads?
Hold up. What if we weren’t entirely right?
What if those negative emotions you feel are revealing relevant information about your life, which when you take necessary action, can make things better for you?
What if those villain negative emotions are pointers to great stuff that can potentially happen in your life?
What if that uncomfortable feeling you have could become your guide to growth, self-discovery, and lasting change?
Yeah, I know, you should not live in fear or envy, and you are never to be caught angry. I’m not saying you should go on to keep all those negative emotions, but hear me out. When you listen to what your negative emotions are telling you without going in their direction, you can use them as a guide to improve your life and cut down on how often you have those emotions in the future.
Here are five things those negative emotions you feel could be telling you and what you can do to make the most of them – just before you get rid of them. By the end of this blog, you will understand how to turn negative emotions into stepping stones for growth so that you can take charge of your life and be the best version of yourself.
Negative Emotions Could Be Pointing to Your Values and A Need for Boundaries
Of course, the sun should never go down on your anger. But before sunset comes, you can probe that anger to uncover certain things. One could be a violation of your values and, hence, a need for boundaries. The reason you likely got angry with the way that person acted towards you (or someone else) could be that they violated your personal values and treated you in a way that you found inappropriate.
For me, I found that I always lost my cool whenever people acted in crude, unethical ways. And by the time I probed this anger, I discovered that courtesy and good manners were such a big deal for me. So, I made it a point of duty to always treat people right and also set boundaries to let people know how I prefer to be treated. Trust me, I now deal with that kind of anger less frequently.
So, maybe, just maybe, when you figure out your values, unapologetically live by them, and make them clear to others, you will significantly reduce the chance that you get angry for the same reasons.
Negative Emotions Are a Pointer to Your Innate Desires.
So, you just caught yourself being envious of someone’s achievement? What if that envy simply means that you desire those same things? Really, think about it. Will you be envious of someone who has something you already possess? I don’t think so, except you are…
Better still, envy could point to the presence of an unmet desire in your heart. So, instead of wasting time antagonizing those people in your heart or wishing they lose that good thing, why not channel that energy into working towards making your unmet desires a possibility. Pray about your desires. Study for them. Take the necessary action to bring them to reality. Think about all the things you could possibly do to see your desires materialize. And then discard that envy. You already know how poisonous it can be.
Negative Emotions Could Be Telling You to Grow
Can you think of a few things that spur you to grow? I believe negative emotions like shame, fear, regret, and frustration should be among them. Again, I am not telling you to always have these emotions. All I’m saying is that whenever you experience them, probe them to see how they are pointing you to a need for growth before you discard them.
For example, if you feel guilty about something you’ve done or not done, it means your action was not aligned with who you are or who you perceive yourself to be. What to do: Commit to taking deliberate steps to ensure that you are always in touch with your identity.
Regret, on the other hand, often comes up when you feel you’ve missed an opportunity to take certain actions as and when necessary. But before you talk yourself out of that feeling of regret, how about creating an action plan that will help you make the most of every opportunity as they come?
Regret could also come from an action you took or an inaction that ushered in negative consequences. Well, the solution to regret will never be to hold on to that feeling. What you want to do is to use it as a guide to initiate change in your life. So, maybe what you’re regretting is how you spoke to or related to someone or something. In this case, you’ll use that feeling as a cue to learn patience and self-control. What about setting up an accountability system to ensure you do not repeat those mistakes in the future?
The anger you consistently feel towards people could be a sign that you need to learn to forgive more often or be a bit more compassionate towards other people.
If what you are dealing with is the fear of the unknown, then it could be telling you that you’ve lost touch with your Source, or you need more reminders that the One who made heaven and earth lives in you and the future isn’t something you should be afraid of. Probing and using that fear as a compass should lead you to make a decision to grow spiritually – instead of giving in to it.
Feeling anxious or lacking confidence? Don’t start by affirming your way out of these negative emotions. Instead, consider seeing them as an indication that you need to equip yourself or prepare better for that thing that is causing you to lose your guts.
Negative Emotions Could Mean That There Is Something You Are About To Birth
Have you ever felt so uncomfortable and irritable that you either lost your sleep or lost your peace? Let me explain a little from my personal experience. You feel this restlessness that overwhelms you with that notion that you aren’t yet doing enough with your life, even when you are obviously doing significant work. It feels like you are in labor or you have a massive void inside you that needs to be filled. Whenever you have negative feelings like this, it could be pointing to something inside you that you need to release or a solution you can provide to something. That restlessness could be telling you that you need to birth something.
They Could Be a Sign of Misalignment
When you consistently get a bout of negative emotions, or you find it difficult to experience positive emotions for long periods, then it could be pointing to a gross misalignment. The misalignment could come from your environment; being in a place that does not align with your core values will cause an eruption of protesting emotions. It could also be that you are in a relationship, a job, or an association you should not be in, and everything in you just wants out. Or maybe your current routine or operating system is no longer serving you and needs to be changed.
Most of the time, those negative emotions will automatically clear up when you leave that environment, job, or relationship.
Well…
The next time you have negative emotions, ask yourself these questions:
What is causing me to feel this way?
What is this emotion trying to bring to my attention?
What can I do about the cause of this feeling? You’d be surprised to see the transformation you can bring to your life when you learn to probe your negative emotions first before discarding them or covering them up.
