Have you been beating yourself up for always allowing your whole world to revolve around someone you just met, even when they hadn’t really earned that place in your life?
Do you always have to call yourself back to order after overthinking your interactions with people you barely know, daydreaming about a future that hasn’t even been discussed, or granting them access to the most intricate parts of your life?
Now, you desperately want to stop getting emotionally attached too quickly?
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us secretly want to learn how to stop getting emotionally attached too quickly, but we rarely admit it out loud.
As I explained in the previous blog, emotional attachment isn’t bad. It’s human. But when it happens too fast, too deeply, and with people who do not deserve it, it can leave you drained, disappointed, and sometimes ashamed of how quickly you gave your heart away.
In this blog, we’ll break down how to stop getting emotionally attached too quickly without shutting down completely or pretending not to care.
So, if you’re tired of rushing into connections that leave you empty and finally ready to learn how to protect your emotional wellbeing, let’s dive in.
Get Comfortable Being Whole Before Being Chosen
Attachment grows fast when your world is empty. So, if you’re looking to stop getting emotionally attached to people too quickly, start to build and live a life of purpose. Be super comfy being whole and alone, rather than nursing an unhealthy desire to be chosen.
For one thing, living a life of purpose keeps you purposefully too busy to commit to just anybody. The only connections you’ll be available to build are those with people who align with your life’s values.
Secondly, living whole and purposefully ensures that you’re not depending on anyone to fill any gaps in your life, because purpose leaves no void.
Be Curious About People Before Committing to Them
You must learn to approach people with curiosity if you genuinely want to stop getting emotionally attached too quickly.
So, whenever you meet new people, focus on observing and getting to know them to a reasonable extent before committing your time and emotions to them.
In addition to asking them as many questions as courtesy permits, be patient enough to allow time to reveal who they truly are. You want to ensure they are emotionally capable of sustaining a healthy connection before you sink yourself into them.
Set Boundaries with Your Availability
Don’t always be instantly reachable, no matter how good the prospects of a relationship may be.
Set firm limits for what you share and how much energy you invest in your relationships. Don’t violate those boundaries, irrespective of how charming or promising a person may appear.
But then, you cannot effectively set and maintain healthy boundaries with your availability if you’ve not learned to define each of your relationships. Who is this person to you? What role does your relationship with them play in your growth and wellbeing?
When you define your relationships from the get-go, you can accord a corresponding emotional involvement in each of them.
Stop Fantasizing About Potential
One of the main traps you’ll find you often fall for is what could be instead of what is. You commit to people based only on what you hope they can become instead of who they currently are.
To stop committing too quickly, keep your thoughts grounded in the present reality of the person’s actions, not just your hopes.
Nurture Your Existing Relationships
If you get emotionally attached to people too quickly due to a hidden desire to be seen or loved, then you’d want to focus on getting that love and attention from proven, healthier relationships.
Consider nurturing your existing relationships and strengthening your connection with your friends and loved ones. This way, you’ll enjoy all the love and validation you crave from them, without giving your heart to people you know nothing about.
Submit Your Desires to God
Quick attachment often stems from a more profound craving for love, security, or validation. Sometimes, God is the only One who can satisfy those needs. He is the only One who can see the whole of you as bare as you can be, yet still choose and love you with no condition.
So, take that deep longing to God. Let Him anchor you so people don’t become idols.
Conclusion
Getting attached easily doesn’t mean you’re broken. It only means your heart desires connection. The key is learning to protect your heart without hardening it. You can love deeply and wisely.
So, take these steps one at a time to tackle the root cause of those unhealthy lightning connections you build, so you can focus on being whole and nurturing healthier connections.
