I know, you believe you are living your life for yourself, not for society. Everybody thinks the same.
The truth is that many people grew up ticking boxes, pursuing degrees and careers, and getting into relationships not because they align with their truth, but because they’re what society approves of as right.
Worse still, many put themselves under unnecessary stress and pressure in a frantic bid to meet the timeliness society has placed on all these expectations.
If you’ve ever found yourself doing something you ordinarily wouldn’t want, just because “you are supposed to,” then it could be one of those subtle signs that you’re living for societal expectations.
This post will open you up to subtle and obvious signs that your life is run by societal expectations, not purpose. By the end, you’ll know the truth and what to do with it.
What It Means to Be Living for Societal Expectations
Living for societal expectations means you are building your life around what you believe others want for you, rather than what aligns with your identity and purpose.
It is when the voice of culture, tradition, or people around you gets louder than your inner voice or the leading of God. Over time, you’ll begin to choose correctness over authenticity, approval over alignment, and routine over revelation.
Sadly, living for societal expectations can show up in many areas of life. They may also seem harmless at first, but with time, they slowly chip away at your identity and leave you at the mercy of stereotypes and scripts.
9 Signs You’re Living for Societal Expectations
You feel pressure to achieve milestones based on age
So you’re 30 and you’re already beginning to panic because you’re not married and all your mates are on their second children already. That might just be one of the signs that you’re living for societal expectations, not purpose.
Unfortunately, if you sit with yourself, you may realize you’re not even ready for marriage. Read here to see 8 signs that show you’re not ready for marriage. You might even dread sharing your time and life with someone else.
But because you’re working with a timeline handed to you by social scripts, you’ll start stressing about getting into a relationship and getting married as soon as possible.
You’re yet to align with your purpose
If you’re yet to discover and start living in alignment with your God-given purpose, then it is one of the very obvious signs that you are living for societal expectations.
You know why?
If you’re not living your life according to the timeline from purpose, which timeline are you using?
Society’s, of course.
You pursue careers or studies that don’t align with your passion or purpose
Your course of study and career path are vital elements of your life because they directly determine how you spend over 35% of your waking hours every year.
When you find yourself opting for a particular career path just because it “sounds nice,” not because you’re passionate about it, you’re likely living for societal expectations.
Your social media is different from your reality
I know you need to create aesthetically pleasing and well-curated content to be on the algorithm’s side.
But when there is such a wide chasm between the near-perfect life you portray on social media and what you have in reality, then it is a sign that you’re merely living for societal expectations.
In fact, when you modify any part of your life and present any part of the modification as truth on social media, you’re not only living for societal expectations. It shows you are addicted to societal approval and applause.
You constantly compare your life to others and act on the comparison
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being inspired by the big stuff that other people do. But when you constantly compare your life with other people’s lives and then take action based on that comparison, it is a sign that you’re only living for expectations.
The reason you compare in the first place is that you believe that where you are is wrong for you. And then, when you act on that comparison, you decide that what the other person has is what is expected of you.
You silence your opinions and decisions to avoid being labeled as inadequate
Whenever you find yourself editing your opinions or even avoiding making certain decisions, all because you fear others will not approve of it, that’s one of the very glaring signs you’re likely living for societal expectations.
The thing is, anything that can cause you to change, silence, or ignore your opinions and decisions (things that are unique to you) has some form of control over you. And if “what people will say” causes you to change routes, then you’re likely living for societal expectations.
You’re terrified of disappointing your family, friends, or community
One of the very subtle signs that you are living for societal expectations is that you are terrified of disappointing your friends, family, or community.
Of course, do whatever lies within your power to make those associated with you proud. But when all you live for is to run away from disappointing people, that’s a sign of living for societal expectations. When the sole reason you work hard is to avoid rejection at all costs, then that’s not a good one.
You don’t bother to know what God wants for you when making big decisions
If you’ve always found yourself making big decisions without going to your Source, or even looking within to understand what is right for you as a unique human being, then you may be living for societal expectations.
Unfortunately, this is the life of a terrifying number of people around the world. Many people, including Christians, do not put God first in their daily lives. Instead, they look around to see what their mates are doing before rushing into it.
Also, when you’re too busy living for societal expectations, you may never come around to understand your personal desires and how you’d prefer to live your life for maximum fulfillment.
You live a lifestyle you cannot afford
When you’re consistently buying things or going to places that are way beyond your means, then it is a sign that you’re living for societal expectations.
You believe there’s a kind of status society expects you to have attained at a given time, and you jeopardize your finances or peace just to appear to be that person (that you’re not).
Conclusion
Now, you’ve seen the clear signs that you’re living for societal expectations. If you are, it’s not too late to break free and start living for a purpose.
Watch this space for a comprehensive post that will help you break free from living for societal expectations so that you can truly start living.
