Marriage Readiness Quiz

Take this Marriage Readiness Quiz to see how ready you are to get hitched!

How far along are you on your journey to self-discovery?

I have made some effort to discover who I am, but I haven’t made much progress.

Yes, I am well on my way to self-discovery, and I understand my proclivities to a large extent.

There are still some parts of me I am yet to uncover.

I have not really made an effort to embark on the journey of self-discovery.

Have you discovered the reason for which you are on the earth?

I have been trying to find out about that, but no progress so far.

Yes, I have discovered and am actively walking in my purpose.

No, I don’t know what it is.

Just a little. I only have an idea but I am not walking in it.

Do you understand how marriage fits into your life’s purpose?

I’m working towards that already, even though I haven’t made much progress.

Yes. I also understand the roles my spouse and our union will play in helping me fulfill my purpose.

I believe marriage and purpose should be two different things.

I haven’t figured that out yet.

How comfortable are you with who you are as an individual?

Comfortable but not very thrilled with who I am.

Not really. There are some things I wish I could change.

I find it hard to appreciate who I am.

I love myself!

Have you been able to identify and address your personal strengths and weaknesses?

Yes, to a great extent.

Not at all. I don’t even know what they are.

I just discovered those.

Yes, but I think I’m still a work in progress.

1 out of 16

How committed are you to continuous personal development?

Not too committed.

I don’t know much about personal development.

I am still learning to invest in my growth.

I am very much committed to my personal development. I invest in it regularly, and I have a routine.

Do you understand your core values?

Yes, I do. But I find it hard to live by them.

A little.

Yes. Everything I do is anchored on my core values.

What are core values?

Do you consider yourself whole and properly rooted in your identity?

I sometimes need friends or a relationship to feel whole or complete.

I believe I am whole, but sometimes I doubt myself when I do not have the validation of others.

Yes, I have taken deliberate steps to ground myself in my identity, irrespective of what happens in my life.

I often question my identity whenever I have issues with the people in my life.

How would you generally describe your life as a single with respect to your desire to be married?

I love the dynamics of my life as a single person. I hope to continue them in marriage.

I always feel like my life will only be better and complete when I am married or in a relationship.

I am happy and satisfied being single, but being married has advantages.

Singlehood is not a good thing at all. I am tired of being single.

Which of these are you likely to do to make your spouse happy?

Change a pattern of behavior.

Change my mindset about something.

Compromise a little on my core values.

Change something about my physical makeup.

2 out of 16

Are you currently upset at someone who hurt you in the past?

No. I have let go of every hurt.

I still remember the incident vividly, and I get upset whenever I talk about it.

Maybe, but I no longer feel as hurt as I was when the incident occurred.

Yes, I’m not sure I can forgive them for what they did to me.

Have you resolved past traumas or emotional baggage?

Working on it.

I don’t have any past traumas.

I don’t know anything about those.

Yes, I have, and I know not to let the happenings of the past affect my future.

How effectively have you learned to manage your emotions?

Ummm… I always act based on what I feel.

Perfectly. I know how to get my emotions under control.

Pretty effectively.

I can manage my emotions to a large extent.

How do you vent when angry, upset, disappointed, or betrayed?

I cry and often hurt myself during emotional outbursts.

I basically keep to myself and avoid my offender.

I’ll walk up to my offender and tell them how I feel.

I shout and sometimes break stuff to let them know how hurt I am.

How well do you love being by yourself?

I get bored whenever I have to be alone so I prefer being around others.

Oh, I love my company so much that I have to remind myself to enjoy other people’s company most times.

I don’t know how I feel being with myself, but it’s not a good feeling.

I dread being alone. That’s one of the reasons I want to get married.

Are you prepared to support your partner emotionally?

Yes, I am empathic and can readily understand what my partner feels and support them as needed.

A little. Although I can sometimes be emotionally unavailable.

Not really. I believe they should be mature enough to be emotionally independent.

Well, I don’t know what it means to support someone emotionally.

3 out of 16

How well can you express love and affection to your partner?

My partner should know I love them whether I express it or not.

I know how to let people know I love them.

Not at all. I prefer doing that in private.

Just a little. I’d rather do something to show my love than say or express love to my partner.

Will you be happy to marry someone like you?

I’m not so sure I can marry someone like myself.

Absolutely not! I have some flaws even I wouldn’t want to deal with.

Yes, I’d be happy to marry someone like me.

Not really. I’m still dealing with some stuff. So, someone better than I am.

How do you typically handle abuse and toxic relationships?

I’m not sure I can recognize when a relationship is toxic or abusive.

Sometimes, I try to talk things out with the other person.

I don’t tolerate abuse in any relationship. I leave as soon as possible.

I don’t like to offend people, so I always apologize and try to make the other person happy.

Which of these sounds like predominant thoughts you hold about marriage and the opposite sex?

I don’t have any thoughts. I am ready to accept and work through anything I see in marriage.

Marriage is based on luck, so I don’t have high expectations.

People of the opposite sex cannot truly be trusted.

Marriage is beautiful, but you have to put in the required work.

How will you rate your ability to invest quality time and effort into creating meaningful connections with others?

I only connect with other people (including friends) when I have the time.

I think it is safe to wait for others to make the first move.

I deliberately make time to reach out to people and connect with them.

I’ve tried to create meaningful connections in the past and nothing worked.

4 out of 16

Do you know what your love languages are?

No, I don’t.

I think they change from time to time.

I don’t think love languages matter in marriage. Life is too full of challenges for that.

Yes, I do.

Do you know how to communicate openly and honestly?

Not much. I often lag in communicating honestly.

Honestly, I prefer to keep to myself and let my actions do the talking.

Yes, nothing beats open and honest communication.

Sometimes.

How well do you practice being fully present in conversations?

I think it is important that the other person understands my point of view first.

I have made a habit of listening so well during conversations that I can even hear what the other person isn’t saying.

Sometimes, my thoughts wander off during conversations.

I have a pretty hard time paying attention to conversations.

How comfortable are you with being emotionally vulnerable with your partner?

I’m open and comfortable expressing my emotions and fears.

I don’t think it is safe to be vulnerable with anyone; you could get hurt.

I find it a bit difficult to open up emotionally and tend to keep things to myself.

I’m selective about what I share with anyone.

How would you describe your ability to listen empathetically to your partner, especially when they express opinions that differ from yours?

I will let them know what I think, too. I hate being oppressed.

I might feel bad about it.

I will stay quiet and try to understand what they mean.

I think I might flare up.

5 out of 16

How would you handle situations where you feel hurt or misunderstood by your partner?

I will immediately let them know how hurt their actions made me feel so that my grievance does not build up.

I will speak to someone else about it.

I will keep to myself and let them be.

I will find ways to hurt them back. They’ll understand me better when they feel the hurt I felt.

How would you likely manage personal insecurities within your marriage?

I honestly don’t know what I’d do.

I’ll simply try to deal with them myself.

I’ll be vulnerable enough so that I can partner with my spouse to resolve them.

I’ll hide my insecurities. My spouse does not need to see them.

What will you do when you want your partner to understand something you’ve always complained about?

I’ll probably cry or yell to make them see things my way.

I’ll keep talking about that thing until they listen.

I’ll tell someone else they respect to speak to them.

I’ll give them the silent treatment until they get it.

Generally, what’s usually your overall goal when you communicate with others?

To be heard.

To reach a mutual understanding.

To see things from the other person’s perspective.

Just to talk, I guess.

6 out of 16

How well do you currently forgive the people around you when they hurt you?

Forgiveness is hard, but I try as much as possible.

I don’t bother about forgiveness; I cut off the relationship.

Pretty well. I’ve learned to let go easily.

I don’t forgive easily.

How do you typically respond when faced with a disagreement about a deeply rooted issue (e.g., values, family, finances)?

It will be best to avoid such topics so as not to raise problems.

I’ll simply go with what my partner thinks.

My partner should accept me as I am, so I’ll stand my ground on what I believe.

I’ll seek to have a vulnerable conversation to resolve it, even if we both need to make compromises.

How capable of forgiving and letting go of grudges are you?

Not much. I don’t forgive easily; people should learn not to hurt others.

I have learned that people will always be people, and I must remember to accommodate others’ shortcomings.

Grudges are a great way to teach people a lesson.

I am learning to let go.

Can you discuss difficult topics without becoming defensive?

Why would I not be able to defend something I strongly believe?

Sometimes.

I am working on this.

I have learned that the best way to approach some topics is to hear the other person out first.

Who do you believe should apologize first during a relationship conflict?

My partner should always apologize to me.

I find it difficult to apologize, even if I know I’m wrong.

The person who is in the wrong should be the one to apologize.

Peace is important to me, and I may not mind reaching for peace, even if I am right.

Have you figured out how to practice forgiveness for your marriage?

Yes, I have.

Somehow. Although I still find it hard to forgive.

Not really; I will figure that out when I get married.

I can only forgive an offense once. The second hurt has to be deliberate and is unforgivable.

7 out of 16

Which of these conflict resolution methods resonates well with you?

Sit my spouse down and talk to them from my heart.

Talk to someone else immediately I have a conflict with my spouse.

I’d avoid trouble and hope things will die down by themselves.

Stand on my right, express my emotions, and wait for my partner to understand things from my perspective.

When conflict arises in your marriage, what will your stance likely be?

I’d see my partner as a team member and the issue as the enemy we would fight together.

I will likely see conflict as my partner trying to attack me.

I will see conflict as an indication that the marriage is nearing its end.

I see conflict as something that we must avoid at all costs.

How willing are you to seek opportunities to learn about and understand your partner’s changing desires and boundaries?

I believe conflicts can show me my partner’s desires at any time so I can meet them where they are.

I think I will try to keep up with that.

I think they should verbally let me know when their desires and boundaries have changed.

Not really; I’m not sure I’m willing to do all that work.

How would you react if your partner disagreed with your views or beliefs?

I’d feel upset and would find it hard to respect their view.

I would respect their opinion and try to calmly discuss it.

I’d try to convince them to see things my way.

I honestly don’t know how I’d feel.

When you disagree with your spouse, how important would it be for you to have the last word?

It’s not about winning; I'd want to reach a mutual understanding.

It’s important for me to be right and make sure my point is heard.

I'd need to explain my side and be understood, but I don’t mind if we don’t agree.

I’d let it be if my partner insists.

8 out of 16

Have you established a stable income source?

No, I am hoping to get a spouse who would take care of me.

I am really struggling with my finances at the time.

I am just starting out financially. But I am putting in the work to improve my financial literacy.

To a reasonable extent.

Are you prepared to handle finances with transparency with your partner?

Not quite, as long as we are both meeting the financial needs at home.

Absolutely. I believe in 100% transparency when it comes to our finances.

To an extent. But I don’t have to tell them about every income of mine.

Not at all. My money remains my money and my partner should have no business in it.

How do you currently handle financial disagreements with family or close friends?

I find that I usually get frustrated and defensive when money issues come up.

I don’t really have many financial disagreements because I let others handle money matters.

I communicate my grievances openly and seek a fair solution.

I try my best to avoid financial conflicts and let things slide.

What financial habits are you likely to carry into your marriage?

Strong budgeting skills, disciplined saving, and planned spending.

I have some financial awareness but am still learning to manage money better.

Ummm… I tend to spend first and figure things out much later.

I’m not so sure—I haven’t thought much about financial habits.

When you think about combining bank accounts with your partner, how does it make you feel?

I think I am willing to have a combined account with my spouse.

I work hard for my money. I’m not sure I can put anyone in control of it.

Well, we can do without sharing accounts, can’t we?

That sounds scary.

9 out of 16

Who do you think should shoulder the financial responsibilities in a marriage?

There’s nothing wrong with both parties contributing equally to sustain the home.

I believe the man should shoulder the financial responsibilities.

I think the person who earns more should be responsible for the financial needs of a marriage.

It is the man’s responsibility to provide for the home, but nothing wrong with the woman doing her best too.

What are you likely to do if your spouse gets unemployed?

I’ll push them hard until they find another job.

The marriage might suffer until they get a job. The bills won’t pay themselves.

I don’t know about unemployment; that’s why I’d rather marry an entrepreneur.

I’ll shoulder as much as I can until they are employed again.

What is your predominant mindset about money?

I believe I can easily make money, so I am pretty generous.

I believe money is pretty hard to make and must be cherished above all.

I believe my money matters should be kept a secret from my partner so they don’t demand so much.

I believe money is the root of evil. Just work hard to pay your bills.

Are you willing to share financial goals with your spouse?

Maybe, if it ever comes up.

Not really.

Absolutely. It’s one of the first few things we would discuss.

My finances are private to me. My spouse can plan whatever they want with theirs.

If your spouse has a different financial philosophy than you, how would you handle it?

We’ll have an open discussion and find a compromise that aligns with our goals.

I will stand by my financial habits and hope they eventually agree with me.

I will let them handle the finances while I focus on other things.

I will simply avoid discussing finances with them and hope for the best.

10 out of 16

Do you believe you can respect your partner’s individuality and autonomy?

Nope. I believe we become one as soon as we say ‘I do.’

Yes, I need my partner to understand and enjoy their individuality as I would.

I’m not sure about that.

Not really, especially when I am not comfortable with their individuality.

How Important do you believe trust is to a healthy marriage?

Trust is not that important. Love is what matters.

I must be able to trust my partner and vice versa.

Trust is important, but we can do without it once we have peace.

Can you really trust the opposite sex?

How do you feel about the balance between maintaining independence and being committed to each other in marriage?

I believe it’s important to have a healthy balance of independence while nurturing our bond.

I would want to be very close and involved in everything my partner does, sometimes at the expense of my independence.

I think being completely dedicated to my partner is essential, even if it means less personal freedom.

It’s important to maintain individuality and personal space all the time.

Does the way your partner treats other people matter to you?

I’m not sure it does.

I don’t think that is my business.

No. What matters is how they treat me.

Yes, how my partner treats other people tells me a lot about how they will eventually treat me.

What are your thoughts on setting boundaries with your family?

My parents were there before my spouse, so I’ll always put them first.

I believe my spouse and I decide what we do with extended family because my spouse comes first.

I don’t think I need to set boundaries with my family. They are welcome to do what they want in my marriage.

I cannot do without telling my parents/siblings everything happening to me (including in my marriage).

11 out of 16

How important is it for you (when married) to have clear boundaries with your ex-partners?

I think it’s important to have clear boundaries and minimal contact with someone I once had a relationship with.

I think keeping some kind of friendship with an ex is fine.

I don’t see the need for rigid boundaries as long as things are clear with my partner.

To respect my spouse, I prefer to cut all communications with my exes once married.

Do you have friends or a supportive community outside your intended marriage environment?

Not really; I don’t have friends, but I’m hoping my spouse will be my solid support system.

I have many besties of the opposite sex who will remain besties even after I am married.

Not much, I have a few friends, but I’m not too committed to them.

Yes, I have a community of super supportive friends.

So, it’s Friday evening, and you and your spouse already have a culture of going on dates every Friday. But your friends decide to schedule a meet-up that clashes with your date. What are you likely to do?

I’ll turn down the meet-up. My marriage first.

I honestly wouldn’t know what to do.

I’ll meet up with the girls/boys. My spouse can understand.

I’ll ask my spouse to combine our date with the meet up so I don’t miss any.

What are your thoughts on boundaries with the opposite sex?

I don’t mind having best friends of the opposite sex, even while married.

I know I must keep interactions with the opposite sex transparent, moderate, and strictly for business (if the person isn’t a mutual friend of my spouse).

What I do with the opposite sex should be none of my spouse’s business.

My spouse should trust me no matter how I interact with people of the opposite sex.

Which of these sounds like your opinion on boundaries and boundary setting?

People who set boundaries are usually mean and unfriendly.

I don’t mind keeping to my spouse’s boundaries as long as they don’t hurt me.

I don’t think a couple needs to set boundaries between themselves.

I have boundaries, and I also respect other people’s boundaries - irrespective of who they are.

12 out of 16

Why do you want to get married?

I’ve been looking forward to my big day all my life.

I’m old enough to be married and have kids.

All my friends are already married. I don’t like being the odd one.

I want to do life and purpose with someone.

Which definition of marriage resonates with you the most?

Marriage is something you commit to when it is convenient. When it is not, you can check out.

Marriage is a stage of life; you get married when you reach a certain age.

Marriage is a covenant institution established by God.

Marriage is more advantageous to one gender than it is to the other.

What is the most important thing you are looking out for in your future spouse?

They must be financially wealthy.

They must have a sense of commitment and be covenant-minded.

They must have a good height and be really good-looking.

They must be good in bed.

Do you believe you can recognize red flags in a potential spouse?

Absolutely. I’d know when I see what I do not want in a spouse.

I’m not sure I’m worried about red flags as long as my partner loves me.

Not really, I may need others to show me red flags in a potential partner.

There are no such things as red flags. There will always be something to deal with in your partner.

Are you ready to prioritize your marriage relationship above your individual desires?

Not all the time. Sometimes, I will definitely fulfill my own desires first.

Yes, especially if the matter at hand may be critical for my partner.

Why would I put someone else above myself? I need to take care of myself to show up in the relationship.

Only if my partner is deserving of it.

How willing are you to keep the flames of love burning your marriage?

Do we need to work on that? Does it not keep burning naturally?

Only when I have enough time for that.

Only if my partner is actively doing their part.

I am willing to do my best at all times to keep the flame of love burning in my home.

13 out of 16

Do you have a vision for your marriage in the next five years, and are you currently taking steps to adequately contribute your quota?

Yes, I do. I’m also working on myself to see that I contribute my part towards the vision.

I honestly don’t have any concrete vision for my marriage.

I’m only planning towards my big day. Anything after that will take care of itself.

I’m working on myself, but I really do not have any vision for my marriage.

What are your predominant thoughts about love in marriage?

I believe that once I fall in love with my spouse, I will always love them.

I believe that love in marriage will be a daily choice and commitment beyond fleeting emotions.

Yes. Once I love someone, and I see that they love me too, then we are good to go.

I believe that once we love each other, everything else will work out fine.

Are you ready to commit to your partner for life, regardless of circumstances?

Yes, I’m ready for better, for worse, except there’s violence.

Nope. I have so many deal breakers.

Maybe.

It depends on my partner.

How do you envision sharing household responsibilities after marriage?

I think both partners should equally contribute to household tasks.

I think the partner who is better at certain tasks should take the lead.

I believe the woman should be responsible for most of the housework.

I’ll hire help for household tasks.

When the time comes, will you be open to discussing your sexual needs and boundaries with your spouse?

Are we to discuss that?

I believe good sex will eventually happen, whether we talk about it or not.

Yes, I hope to be able to communicate my sexual needs with my spouse as occasion demands.

Not really.

14 out of 16

What does your relationship with God look like?

My relationship with God is a bit distant. I barely have time to pray and study my Bible.

I don’t have any relationship with God.

I have a solid relationship with God. I commune with Him all the time.

Well, I attend church every Sunday and pay my offerings.

What role do you believe God should play in your choice of a spouse?

I believe I should marry who God reveals as the person or the kind of person He wants me to marry. He knows me best.

I don’t believe God has anything with my choice of a spouse. I will marry whoever I want.

Well, God can tell me what He wants for my marriage, but I believe I am in a better place to choose who I marry.

Well, if I like someone, I can tell God to approve of them for me.

How willing are you to heed the voice of God concerning an action He would want you to take in your marriage, even when it will be uncomfortable or illogical?

I don’t even know what it is like to hear God.

I’m a bit willing, maybe not all the time.

I think I will obey if it will not stress or discomfort me so much.

I am willing to do what God says. I know He wants the best for me, even when it doesn’t feel so.

Do you see marriage as a means to spiritual growth and holiness rather than a means to attain personal happiness alone?

I’m not sure.

Yes. I’m willing to let God use my marriage to help me grow and become more like Him, even though this may not always be palatable.

What business has marriage and holiness?

Honestly, my marriage and spouse should always make me happy.

How ready are you to honor the covenant of marriage?

Quite ready, but I am ready to walk away when things don’t feel right.

How is marriage really a covenant?

I am ready, but only when my spouse does the same.

At least 90%. I understand that God values the marriage covenant, and I am ready to honor it.

How willing are you to sacrificially lead and love your wife (as a man) and fully submit to your husband’s leadership (as a woman)?

I will submit to my husband only when I see how much he loves me.

I am not sure I can totally submit to another human being. People are unpredictable.

I know sacrificial loving and leading (for a man) and total submission (for a woman) will not be easy, but I trust God to help me.

I will love my wife, provided she submits to me.

15 out of 16

Do you believe it is important to discuss your views on religion and spirituality with your partner?

Yes, our views on spirituality will be top on the list of things we should discuss.

It depends on my partner.

It is good to discuss spirituality if the discussion ever comes up.

I don’t think that discussion is very important as long as we can live peacefully.

Is it important that your partner shares your faith?

Not necessarily, as long as they do not disrespect my faith.

Absolutely! I cannot marry someone who does not share my Christian faith and isn’t born again.

They can believe whatever they want. Spirituality is not my problem.

Maybe, but I don’t mind converting to their faith if they are serious about marriage.

How well do you currently allow God to point out your shortcomings and character flaws to you for improvement?

I love to live my life on my terms most of the time.

I yield to God as much as I can and repent when He points out a flaw to me.

I don’t know how to hear God.

Sometimes, I listen to my conscience when it pricks me about something I’ve done. Other times, I just ignore it.

Are you open to spiritual mentorship and accountability in your marital journey?

Yes, if my partner prefers to have any.

It depends on how our marriage turns out.

I already have spiritual mentors and leaders overseeing my life. My partner must have one as well.

No. I don’t need anybody to tell me how to do my marriage.

What are your thoughts about serving your spouse?

I will only serve my spouse if they are ready to serve me.

I believe my answer will depend on how my partner behaves.

I’ll selflessly serve my spouse, knowing that it is my worship to God.

I will serve my spouse as long as I have the time.

16 out of 16

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