Are you a secure person?
Your answer might be ‘Yes,’ as most people would respond. Still, reading this blog can help ensure you’re not holding onto any hidden insecurities.
Now, pause for a moment. When you consider becoming more secure, what comes to mind? Is it about being perfect, flawless, or liked by everyone?
Well, in reality, none of the above proves that a person is secure.
To become a more secure person is to become emotionally grounded and firm on your identity and innate worth as a person.
Being secure means that you do not easily allow external happenings to affect your perception of yourself or the value you bring in the world. It is the very foundation of self-confidence – the one everyone who comes around you never fails to notice and admire.
I know, this subject of security is beginning to sound like something that is pretty difficult to achieve.
Honestly, becoming a more secure person may not be something you can achieve overnight, but it is possible.
This is why I’ll share very critical information that will help you understand where your insecurities come from so that you can deal with them and become the secure person you were created to be.
Before we discuss how to become more secure, let’s ask: what might be getting in your way?
Trust me, nobody ever wants to be insecure. Nobody even likes the look and sound of insecurity. But how then do we end up insecure?
As you read through the ways to become a more secure person, you’ll also understand some of the common roots of insecurity.
Your eyes will be open to see the culprits behind your not being as secure as you’d really love to, and you’ll learn what to do to turn things around.
8 Practical Ways to Become a More Secure Person
It’s not going to happen like magic. But I promise you, when you practice these things, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a more secure person.
Know who You Are — and Whose you are
Yes, identity is everything. In fact, without our identities as unique beings, we’d be nothing.
So, to become more grounded in your uniqueness and worth, you need to know who you are – and whose you are.
You need to understand what you are made of, how you’ve been endowed, and where your source and strength comes from.
And hey, do resist the urge to cull your identity on your achievements or material possessions alone. It must come from something or Someone way higher than you are.
Do you know what happens when you try to draw your identity from your achievements or possessions? The ground under you will likely give way whenever you meet people who appear to have or achieve more than you do.
This naturally leads us to the next idea.
Heal the wounds that shaped your self-perception
Nobody is born secure. It is something you cultivate with time. At the same time, nobody is born insecure. Certain occurrences or experiences contribute to shaping your perspective of yourself.
So, if you aim to become a more secure person, you need to figure out where you acquired this warped perspective of who you are, and heal from them.
Did your insecurity begin at childhood, enabled by childhood wounds and critical or absent parents? Or did it start to take shape after several cycles of abusive, unhealthy relationships as an adult?
Heal whatever wound that may be causing you to shrink into yourself so you can become the secure, confident person you were created to be.
Quite the comparison
Psychology aside, when you say something isn’t secure, what does it mean? In the literal sense, it means it isn’t strong enough to hold on to external weight, right?
Well, one of the things that make the ground under you shaky, especially when you stand before other people, is that you often compare yourself with others.
When you compare yourself with other people, you’ll definitely exaggerate your flaws and forget your unique value. Without your unique value, you’ll be standing on quicksand.
Regulate your emotions
Until you act or speak, others likely do not know you struggle with insecurity.
And as the emotional beings that we are, we really cannot express ourselves without our emotions. So, when you are insecure, your emotions tell.
This means that when you want to become a more secure person, you need to work on how you express yourself by regulating your emotions.
Well, you cannot regulate what you know nothing about, can you? So, read this blog to understand what those emotions try to tell you anytime you feel them.
When you get a grasp on why you feel the things you feel, you’ll be better able to respond instead of reacting.
Embrace your imperfections
The reason you feel you are not enough can sometimes stem from the fact that you see your imperfections as the end of you.
You are overly conscious of your flaws only against other people’s strength.
But the truth is that those imperfections are not a death sentence. In fact, they actually make you a whole person.
And on the flip side, those things you call weaknesses are only beacons of light trying to show you opportunities for growth and upgrade.
I promise you, when you start to see those imperfections this way, you’ll eliminate that feeling of not being enough.
Learn to appreciate the good in others
Whenever you’re tempted to feel like you do not bring enough value to the world because of what someone else is doing, here’s what you should do:
Appreciate them for who they are and what they do, and simply move on. Just be grateful for their contribution to the world, and don’t think about them and what they do again.
This way, there’d be no comparison nonsense to keep you feeling small and insignificant.
Keep commitments to yourself
Trust is a building block for stability (or emotional security). So, if you want to establish enough internal stability to become more secure, focus on building trust for yourself.
How do you do this?
Keep your word. To yourself and to others. Whenever you say or decide to do anything, see it through.
By doing so, you prove to yourself that you are trustworthy and stable, and nothing feeds your self-esteem more than this understanding.
Anchor yourself spiritually
Becoming firmly secure spans beyond us because there are so many things around us that are way beyond our control. Not having control over those many things can shipwreck our confidence.
But when you are rooted in the one who has the power to control everything, nothing moves you, not even the negative circumstances around you.
So, to become a more secure person, lead a life of consistent Bible study, prayer and intimacy with God. You’ll be at perpetual rest.
Signs You’re Becoming a More Secure Person
So, when you start to consistently practice all these steps, what are some of the signs you should begin to see to know that you are successfully becoming a more secure person?
- You’ll be less triggered by criticism.
- You’ll easily celebrate others without jealousy.
- You’ll start to trust your decisions without excessive second-guessing.
- You’ll not be disturbed when other people misunderstand you (read this blog to learn how to get rid of the fear of being misunderstood).
- You’ll start to be in charge of your emotions.
Conclusion
Now you know what to do to become a more secure person, I’d love to leave you with these helpful tips;
- Security develops over time, not instantaneously.
- Becoming a secure person isn’t something you do once. Even when you feel you’ve become secure, some things will come up to question that security.
- Becoming more secure should not disturb your healthy relationships. Instead, it should strengthen them.
